Boys and drama..

For someone that likes to stay out of drama I have been in a whole lot at the moment.

Firstly, I went to Mitch's 18th, accompanied by Sam, a friend of mine. We had planned to stay in the same tent as I don't own one. During the night Mitch was all over me asking for me to go back with him later on. In the end we had a disagreement and I did end up in Sam's tent.
For friends we sure did do more than we should have. We did not have sex but we nearly did. He was too big.
Seeing Mitch having girls hanging off him all night I though he shouldn't care too much.
Two days later the worst happened, Mitch found out. He was furious! I felt bad. Really bad. We fought until I found out he had sex with three girls that night and did other stuff with six others. Yet I was in the wrong? This added fuel to the fire. I didn't care what he did but because I didn't get jealous he got angry? Go figure?
Anyways, we talked it over and went back to being just flirting buddies. Not talking much at all when we used to talk all day everyday.

Secondly, the show just came through town and I ended up hooking up with someone on the Ferris wheel. He kissed me. Let me just put that out there! He was one of my friends ex's! I prided myself on not getting with friends ex's then this happened! I felt terrible! My whole school found out then my friend did. Surprisingly we talked it over. She was angry but after she understood the circumstances! I JUST WANTED TO GO ON A FERRIS WHEEL! I didn't want a hook up!

Thirdly, Mitch found out about the show. I accidently sent him a message with certain details that was supposed to go to Teresa, a friend of mine. He got mad! I didn't understand why. He didn't want me anymore. Only for sex, and I was not just being a sexual partner for him. During the argument I told him that I was still hooked on him I couldn't have him so I was trying to find the next best thing. This broke him down. He opened up to the reason we cant be together and apparently its because of the distance. Its understandable but still sucks.
The good thing, we are now back to being buddies. real buddies. Its a great feeling

boys... so much effort..

xo. She, without a name. 

The past few weeks..

In the past few weeks my lie has been quite crazy! Gemma has moved away, Britt has made the decision to stay a little while longer and boys.. well their just boys.

Two weeks ago I was hit with three pieces of huge news that made me nearly go insane!
Firstly, Britt is staying, the reason? she may have to go back for surgery! A re-reconstruction? As much as this makes her upset, it makes me even more upset.
Secondly, in the same day, I found out my father figure from when I was little broke his neck. He is ok now but we were unsure of his condition for days.
and Thirdly, My best friend Teresa was diagnosed with Heart problems. Why me? I have already lost a friend to heart problems! not another I hope!
I have talked to all three and am very happy with their conditions at the moment so I am not too touchy about it.

that's enough of that...

xo. She, without a name.

Anxieties.

Britt is my best friend! I have many best friends but she is my bestestfriend. She has just finished school and I am now left there without her. I only started there last year and most of the reason why was because she was there. I miss her enough without taking her away anymore. But she is looking at moving away and by moving away I mean to a different island. This makes me so scared! I need Britt. She saved me from committing suicide. As well as Gemma did, and Gem is moving away too. I am so anxious and scared about the future. I just want to cry. I want her to make good decisions for her but I cant help but have selfish thoughts. I just wish she could find her happiness closer to home.

Another scary part of my future is losing many of my other friends. I am starting year 11 and so many people are moving away from school learning. I am so scared! I am a soccer player, a goalkeeper. The school wants me to play this season but I am also scared I will not be good enough! I am terrified! absolutely terrified!!

so much to take in one night! I am so torn up!

xo She, without a name.

The post..

My sisters 18th is coming up and Mitch is going. He posted on the event page confirming his attendance. My sister replied to this stating that he needed to come because I needed someone to chat me up. I feel so betrayed! ..and embarrassed! I am so sick of her "putting her 2c in" it is not need nor is it appropriate! I love how my patents think its hilarious because she is their "little princess". If I had done the same I would be in so much strife!

 Does anyone have any ideas to put her in her place?

xo She, without a name

replaced..

Today was an amazing day! Spent it with my cousin and aunty by the pool and at the beach. My cousin and I talk a lot about boys. She currently has a boyfriend so that's who she refers to. I know so much about this boy I have never met. What I wonder is.. who do I refer to? who should I refer to? I don't even know. Corey? Cameron? Mitch?

Today I also found out that my sister, Rachel, has stolen my spot on the state Futsal team. Futsal is my life. She told the coach as I was representing my country, I would be too busy to represent the state. yup, that's how she took my spot. I am beyond disappointed. Those girls are my life. I have Captained that team for so many tournaments and then.. nothing! I could literally cry! but its too late to regain my spot for this tournament.. and maybe they wont have me back.. and that just kills me.
You know the feeling of losing something you cant live without? that's the feeling I have every time I think of it. It doesn't help that the girls keep messaging me asking why I ditched them and that they just hoped I was going. That's what makes it 100 times worse.

xo She, who shall not be named

..and you are?

I have played sport for years. From swimming, athletics, soccer, futsal, volleyball, gymnastics, dancing and softball.. I have done just about everything. except Netball.. yuck! ..anyway, I meet heaps of people through my sport. A year ago my elder sister, Rachel, introduced me to an amazing guy, Mitch. He is really lovely and honest. Yesterday, he decided to facebook me. I forgot how much I really liked this guy. The problem, I  barely know him, he lives over an hour away and doesn't have a job. I am very picky with boys. I mean, im not anything special, but I have a busy life so if there is going to be an added distraction it better be perfect.
Things I look for:

• employed
• honest
• educated
• looking at getting a real career (not at Maccas for the rest of his life)
• Warm
• interesting
• one that has good values
• family orientated
• non-smoking
• non-drug taking
• someone that isn't too interested in drinking every day
• fun loving
• smiley

I know its a long list, but as I said.. I want someone that will fit into my lifestyle.

Mitch only ticks a few boxes but is just so fun. I just don't know? should I keep Mitch on the scene?

..xo She, without a name..

Introducing... Corey..

Today, Corey, one of my friends from school came to my side of town to 'chill'. I didn't want to lead him on as he is also a work colleague and I also have feelings for Cameron. We had an amazing day. Watching movies, mucking about in the surf and having flirtatious sand fights. all I could think was "I wish Cameron was like this with me. I wish he was open to having a fun time that didn't include being under the sheets." Not that I have been 'under the sheets' with him.
Why does it have to be so complicated. I am so torn. My overly protective father seemed to like Corey but he has never met Cameron. What's your thoughts?

xo She, without a name..